Fierce Child!

Thanks Jake for this campy little bitch of a clip!

Xtinas Xmas Xtasy

Some of my favorite campy moments occur when I am selling my soul at my place of employment. The other night, for instance, we decided it was time for Christmas music, because it's actually December 7th. Who knew?

To my delight, we don't play just any old Christmas album. Forget classy bitches like Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday (high out of her mind crooning the classics.) We feature a mix CD of Christmas songs with the likes of Destiny's Child and Christina Aguilera.

I am baffled as to why people ACTUALLY buy this music and listen to it seriously. These recordings and videos are so incredibly campy that it simultaneously ruins and enriches my Holiday season upon each listen. 

I hope you enjoy these holiday masterpieces and that you take an extra hit off your own materpiece before you watch.

First up, Xtina keeps it simple singing from the album Xtina's Xmas. I'm sorry. This is completely ridiculous and the best part starts at 2 minutes in. Kill me. Suprise appearance by our new Secretary of State. 

I want to fuck the shit out of whoever wrote the lyrics to this new Christmas CLASSIC:

The best commercial. EVER.

Mariah Carey. Belting. Trippy Claymation. Dreams Come True.

Skeleton Twink has a NAME?!

So I love Skeleton Twink, and although he now has a name (Shane Mercado??) and a sensible black tank/bootleg jean combo outfit, I still love him. Someone at The Bonnie Hunt show must have been really REALLY high when they booked him to do the entire dance on a green screen in front of the studio audience, but I love it.

The real question here is WHO THE FUCK watches the Bonnie Hunt show, and where do her producers get off disabling embedding. Excuse me? What purpose does this serve. You get some lady man from the internet to come be on your show, post the clip on youtube, and then not let people embed it? 

FUCK YOU Bonnie Hunt Show. But THANK YOU to Matt and Matthew for sending me this clip the other morning before I got a migraine and started puking my brains out. It brought a sliver of sunshine to a day that pretty much BLEW.

Click here to check out Skelly T. doin his thang.

BAH!

Cancer brings people together! Someone managed to get Carrie Underwood, Mariah Carey, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Fergie, Sheryl Crow, Nicole Scherzinger (who is that?), Natasha Bedingfield, Miley Cyrus, Leona Lewis, Keyshia Cole, Ashanti and Ciara on the same stage to vomit riffs out of their sing holes. Watch as the women blankly stare at the tele-prompter while their affected vocal styles clash during this showpiece of a song that could be about ANYTHING.

Get MARRIED?

What? THAT'S the message? If you like a guy, marry him? What?!